The Calling..

Well I guess this it the moment you've all been wait for the end. Yes im giving up Im tired of the struggle the war that grows inside my mind. I set the plan in motion to go out with a bang.I wanted to change the world but I guess that wasn't for me to do. Tonight I say goodnight to this world and and all the badness and sadness connected to it. I don't ask you to remember me and all the things that I done but remember why I left an make a better tomorrow for yourself. I loved you all and with a few word from one of my favorite bands

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep Publish Post
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Complications...

So life is well life just is right now. Things aren't bad but this aren't so great right now either. So my band is actually doing rather well right now we have a ton of shows booked which is amazing. I had a local producer ask to buy one of my songs which totally blew my mind I have a meeting with him on tuesday and he want to see my song book. I mean this could be bigger for me I really always wanted to be in the music industry and ya I don't really have the most amazing voice and I cant really carry a full set but writing song is what I do best. And who know where this may lead a know. As for my school life lets just say my legacy is falling apart. So Ive kinda developed this alter Ego named Rogue, idk how it all happened but he's definitely a lot more of who I used to once upon a time. My psych analysis prof says that we all had duel personalities but only one really shows the other hides behind our sub-conscience and only reveals its self under certain conditions. For me its school thats my condition, its where Rogue comes out. When I get pulled into that world of partying and being crazy liven out the dream I cant help it I love living in the spot light. when i walk around campus and everyone know who I am that what I live for. Call me a bit self absorbed but thats what feeds my fire, which leads me to the problem. So when I get pulled into that alter ego bad things happen, like motor cycle racing on the freeway, or Rogue's hot 100 list which in my defense is a miracle guide for any college freshman guy. But Rogue is definitely a side of me that I don't particularly love. Next on my life agenda is the trouble Im having with a couple of my peeps. The first person means alot to me and I may have messed things up. All she tried to do was give me advise about what I needed to do with a situation Im in. It sucks cause she was like a mom to me and then I went and turn my back on her for a person who is so self absorbed that they really don't know I exist. It gets worst she's leaving the country in a week and Im not gonna have the chance to make things right with her. Uhhh what to do next on the agenda is the other person who is making me question our friendship. I mean we have been good friends for a while but this reoccurring theme keeps popping up, and it that the two of us don't fit together. Its sad cause we both have been trying fight the inevitable, that me and her weren't meant to be friends. I mean sometimes people in your life are just supposed to make an appearance and not be in the entire story ya know. I think that maybe the flame of our friendship is burning out, but its life right nothing ever last forever. Well till next time love one and all.

2010...

Life Is well life we have our ups and we have our downs, and at this moment in just in the middle. It has definitely been a long time since Ive pour my mind on this thing I call my blog but here goes nothing. So For the what three people that don't know I have a girl friend And her name is Brianna Gregory she is smart, funny, very open minded and goal orientated, she amazing. we have been officially dating for a month and a half I made it facebook official a week ago. Which is when all hell broke loose. But lets back tract for a bit so everything seemed so perfect school ended I graduated top of my class of course turn down the opportunity of a life time for a girl how shoot me down. Then I need a break for all the depressing things here in AZ and i went with my ace to Brothell, washington to visit my sister and her father which was an amazing trip of side of the fact that really y got to find out how crazy my friend really was. YIKES!!!! Oh so the girl that I was previously pining over went away for the summer so it was just me and Bri together for the majority of the summer we dated for a bit last summer but I though that I had a better connection with someone else and I cut her loose so that I wouldn't end up hurting her in the long run. So after like a week of spending ever waking moment with each other we decided that we are better together than apart. Fast forward a month and 11 days the old flame has returned home and Bri tells me that I need to cut her out as long as were together. Ok thats a bit much especially since me and plan were best friends ya know. Any whoo I told bri that I would never choose and well she didnt talk to me for about three days. Then today some one Keyed my car. Oh ya I so thought it was her but then I came to my senses she would never go that far. I drove out to her house and we talked about alot of stuff and things are ok again I guess. Were going to vegas together in a week hopefully I dont come back married that would suck, lol well maybe not. Till next time peace and love

Talk it out...

Hello everyone Im back, I need an out let for everything going on in my life. Well I have a lot on my mind so lets get started. First lets start off will family stuff ya my dad in engaged, Im happy for him. The chick he's marring is legit we didn't start off on the right foot but she cool now. Their planning a December wedding Im the best man hahaha priceless. Yep then they're moving to New York that part sucks well not them moving i could care less about that its just that I just got my room the way I like it now I have to pack it all up and start again. As for My other half of the family well lets just say were not speaking much these days, Im tired of being used by them so I 86 them out. Ahh as for work a lot has changed since the last time I posted, I no longer work at Marketside that job was a joke. Ya I got paid alot to do what i did but the management at that place was out of control. I took a Job at this really cool P.R. firm. Im a Junior Coordinator basically I book high priced after parties and regular parties and help plan them with my team. I really love this job, and Im really good at it too. Ive already book 6 events Im actually sitting in the LAX airport right now we had a team meeting at the new office in LA. Now Im on way home, my boss is leaving for this new office cause he lives here in Cali and travel every week for work. He wants me to come but I don't have the funds to live out here just yet, not even with my trust fund. Oh school is going great Ill be done pretty soon and then its grad school time. I got four acceptance letters ASU, San jose state, NYU, and Cal. I have till june 1st the choose my school, Im not sure thought where I want to go. Going to ASU would be the easy thing to do but Im not sure if its the best thing for me. Ive never been the kind of guy to settle and if I stay if feel like I would be. I have my reasons to go my first choice would be Cal and then I could transfer to Stanford when I go for my Ph.D. , but at the same time I dont want to leave behind everything I have going on here. And just so we are all clear a girl is not on my reasons to stay. There was a girl who could have gotten me to say but after a lot of thought and talking to my peeps I need to just let her go and move on. It will be hard but it'll be for the best. Its time I accept my destiny Ive never been a normal man, and I need to stand up and take my place at the top of the mountain. Oh and I started a new band this one is all my own Its called Winston and Epics I think were gonna change the name to "THE EPICS". We are a band a family and we share everything so everything should be equal. this week should be pretty busy Carly is in town for a little bit and I have a Date on friday night with a girl from my Chem class. So thats all I have for now but be ready for more updates soon.

Fin...

So for my final blog though I'd share one of the pieces that I wrote.

This isn't the end its just good by for now.

One day maybe ill find my way back, till then I just float on.

Wait For Me.

Look out to the horizon

A whole world lies beyond

The path of life shall guide me

And will swiftly move me on,

There's new things to discover

And many sights to see

But I hope you'll be waiting

Patiently waiting for me.

The road stretches before me

And I don't know how far,

And whatever may happen

Just remember who you are

If other try to change you,

Hold tight to who you wanna be

Ill return one day

I just hope you'll be there waiting for me.

Once Ive reached my limit

And I cant go on any more

I'll always have the memories

Of the good times we've had before

So when my journey ends

And I'm ready to break free

I hope that you'll be waiting there

Waiting there patiently for me.

12/31/09...

Attention to all my readers Decemember 31 will be the last time I will be blogging. My Wordpress, Myspace, And Facebook are comming down as well. I believe that we are all to locked into theses websites that we are forgetting how to actually connect with people in real life.
Thanks to all of you out there who read my blog, and made me keep writing. I may post one more blog but its not likly. Keep living the dream, I know I will.

Pillar...

Man this last week has been a total roller coaster. I'm trying to get ready for finals, all my friends who went away for school are back in town and everybody wants to kick it. My all time Nemesis did the unthinkable which in someways made me very angry. Oh so check this out back in the day we used to have foster kids and they were like family not even like we were a family. We had two girls Heather, and Shyann and my two bro Ronny, and Tony. So my brother my best friend the person I trust with my life Rko (Ronny) calls and tells me he ask his girlfriend to marry him. God I wanted to shoot him in the face, like why would any one want to get married now a days especially since more than half end in divorce. But as mad as I was at him, I was still super happy. Me and Ronny used to talk about having normal lives with normal families. We wanted to be the guys or father never were for us ya know. Neither one of us actually had any idea what or so called normal was. I'm glad though that he will have a special young lady in his life, and at least one of us can try and find that normalcy we both desire. Oh ya and I'm the best man at the wedding, and his fiance's friends are super hot. "BONUS"!!! OK so all the peeps are back in town it really was amazing to see everybody. Ive got like 600 pics from this week ill post some once I finished editing them. The old flame Carly was here, my boy Coi', Dasha, Ryan, Justin, the twins Staci, and Summer. It was the best all the original team back together. We drove up to Prescott, paid our respects to one of fallen members parents who also let us crash which was sick. For all of you who don't know one of our friends was killed by a drunk driver last year. He was driving home from a family members house and was hit by some drunken D-bag. He was a good kid and didn't deserve what happened to him. But that life ya know things just happen for no good reason. His mom was super stoked to see us all though idk it took my mind of everything that's going on in my own life. So back to my Nemesis, so as far as I can think back me and him having been going at it. Him wanting me to fall me wanting to see him crash and burn. Finally after years I guess the feud is over, he fell to the waist side. I cant say that I'm actually happy about it though. At first I was so happy about it I know that's pretty messed up but if you knew the hatred that brewed between us you'd understand. But now it just makes me sad, I mean all the times he called me out tryn to say I was the bad one and now hes gone. I wonder if he knew how many people looked up to him and loved him. He had everything in the palm of his hand. Id give anything to have people care about me like that and make me sad and angry to see him throw that all away. OK moving on so you know me Mr. always looking for change I think I want to put Australia back on the table, and the peace core, and last but not least going away to school. If I go away to school it would just be for a years considering that I only have one whole school year left. Idk Ive always been searching for that missing part of my life and I thought I finally found it, but now I'm not so sure. My littlest cousin is almost old enough for school, which mean that my bio-family will be packing up and going back east because my family is built on tradition and legacy. So she will have to misfortune of going to Eden Hall prep academy trust me when I say its a breeding ground for the snobs of America. I had to go there for a while before I couldn't take it any more. More so we moved to this god forsaken place lol. So Ive got a lot to think about, I don't wanna make a decision to fast. well that's it for now love and peace.