Imagine that...

Things, lately everything seems to be spinning out of control. like just when I think that I have everything in balance something else land on my plat to throw me off once again. I used to have this amazing plan and every thing was very scripted and precises no room for error or miscalculation it was perfect. Now though it seems that my plan is out the window, I don't know if I'm going or coming and i hate the feeling. You know that feeling it the one when you feel like you've lost control of the ship and now your heading in an unknown direction. I keep thinking that things will get better but it getting hard to keep that smile on my face when I know I sinking. That leads me to my newest adventure Ive pretty much just want go leave start over ya know. I bought a ticket Australia its not till march so i have some time to save up some cash and what not. My family really doesn't care that I go they don't really pay much attention to my craziness anyways. My dad think it could be good for me. Ive been doing a lot of research and if i do go I wont be traveling back here to the states any time soon. I would get a work visa which last for a year, while down there I can apply for my citizenship. Apparently its really easy to get if here come the downside I would have to give up my citizenship here as an American. I could apply for dual citizenship but it would take longer than a year for me to get it. Traveling back here would cost me way to much money and the fact that i would only here for a couple month till it went through make it seem pointless. So I would be a full legal Australian. I would miss it here dont get me wrong, Ive got a lot here the most amazing best friend, she's my soul friend. Ive got the most amazing crew of peep Ive ever had we've got each other back till the end. Ive got school and i love that but i just feel drained. Idk what I want to do any more dah I wish I could just clear my mind and make a decide what it is that I want. Right now I do know that that only a couple thing are holding me here and I love them enough to stay but for how long. It been said you cant run from the man in the mirror maybe there right but i just need to find out on my own.