Pillar...

Man this last week has been a total roller coaster. I'm trying to get ready for finals, all my friends who went away for school are back in town and everybody wants to kick it. My all time Nemesis did the unthinkable which in someways made me very angry. Oh so check this out back in the day we used to have foster kids and they were like family not even like we were a family. We had two girls Heather, and Shyann and my two bro Ronny, and Tony. So my brother my best friend the person I trust with my life Rko (Ronny) calls and tells me he ask his girlfriend to marry him. God I wanted to shoot him in the face, like why would any one want to get married now a days especially since more than half end in divorce. But as mad as I was at him, I was still super happy. Me and Ronny used to talk about having normal lives with normal families. We wanted to be the guys or father never were for us ya know. Neither one of us actually had any idea what or so called normal was. I'm glad though that he will have a special young lady in his life, and at least one of us can try and find that normalcy we both desire. Oh ya and I'm the best man at the wedding, and his fiance's friends are super hot. "BONUS"!!! OK so all the peeps are back in town it really was amazing to see everybody. Ive got like 600 pics from this week ill post some once I finished editing them. The old flame Carly was here, my boy Coi', Dasha, Ryan, Justin, the twins Staci, and Summer. It was the best all the original team back together. We drove up to Prescott, paid our respects to one of fallen members parents who also let us crash which was sick. For all of you who don't know one of our friends was killed by a drunk driver last year. He was driving home from a family members house and was hit by some drunken D-bag. He was a good kid and didn't deserve what happened to him. But that life ya know things just happen for no good reason. His mom was super stoked to see us all though idk it took my mind of everything that's going on in my own life. So back to my Nemesis, so as far as I can think back me and him having been going at it. Him wanting me to fall me wanting to see him crash and burn. Finally after years I guess the feud is over, he fell to the waist side. I cant say that I'm actually happy about it though. At first I was so happy about it I know that's pretty messed up but if you knew the hatred that brewed between us you'd understand. But now it just makes me sad, I mean all the times he called me out tryn to say I was the bad one and now hes gone. I wonder if he knew how many people looked up to him and loved him. He had everything in the palm of his hand. Id give anything to have people care about me like that and make me sad and angry to see him throw that all away. OK moving on so you know me Mr. always looking for change I think I want to put Australia back on the table, and the peace core, and last but not least going away to school. If I go away to school it would just be for a years considering that I only have one whole school year left. Idk Ive always been searching for that missing part of my life and I thought I finally found it, but now I'm not so sure. My littlest cousin is almost old enough for school, which mean that my bio-family will be packing up and going back east because my family is built on tradition and legacy. So she will have to misfortune of going to Eden Hall prep academy trust me when I say its a breeding ground for the snobs of America. I had to go there for a while before I couldn't take it any more. More so we moved to this god forsaken place lol. So Ive got a lot to think about, I don't wanna make a decision to fast. well that's it for now love and peace.

Blah...

Hello out there it definitely has been a while since my last blog update, sorry Ive been pretty busy. I think the last time I blogged I was just finishing midterms, any ways lets see idk not much has really gone on. Well there a few things, My full on emotional break down, me almost getting fired, and the whole Bri situation. Lets start with the first one shall we most of you think of me as a happy gregarious kind of guy. Ya OK me at all honestly I hate being around a lot of people, I'm always analyzing every situation, plus im slightly nuratic when im not 100% in control. In the psycology world there are two types of personalities, type A or type B. Type A people tend to display their emotions very easyly and often. They can be very agressive and seem careless. Type B people are mellow slow to anger, they try and rationalize bad situation to make them ok. they dont say whats on their minds, they also hold alot of things in. Type B people though have a minor glitch, there exploders. That mean you can push them and push them to their breaking point, but then they explode all their sadness and anger just come flying out. My psych teacher is doing evaluations on us right now, and Im a very reseerved person I have some dark secrets and things that to keep private. Well just say he pushed me to my limits and focus in alot of things that I need to deal with. Idk for some reason thought it unraveled my entire world, and that was not good. I pretty much went off the deep end, which led me to all most getting fired from my job. Ya so im already a toothpick away from loosing all control and my boss just happened to push to far. So I told him what I thought about him and my job. Ya bad move he sent me home and made me write a letter about how I wanted to keep my job. At first I didnt want to do it but I finally came to my senses and wrote it. He didnt fire me thank god believe it or not i knida like my job. During this whole situaton though there was one glimmer of light my very good friend Bri. If you know me well you know I dont tell alot of people how I feel. I keep my stuff to me my burdon to bare, but me and bri have been there for each other though some crazy times and I let her in to my little world. We were good together for about a minute cuz then I got a strong reality check by two people I love and will always love.
Oh and one other thing my mama, (she's not really my mom but i wish she was) called me a player, it made me laugh. but seriously though im so far from being a player is crazy, and yes I do crush alot but im no player. I like alot of girls but love only one. When I meet that girl she will know that she is the center of my universe, the queen of my castle, my best friend without question. Sorry P one day I may have to replace you. Love all ya peace.

Marvel...

When you look back on the last five years of your life was it everything you wanted it to be?Did you accomplish your goals, are you the person that you thought you would be? Do look back and have some regrets or are you totally satisfied with everything that took place? If I were to answer those questions it would be very mixed. When it comes to my goals I think that I did everything that I was gonna do. I graduated from High School a Year early, Im in college, and Im well on my way to being a psycologist. Do I look back and think that i should have done things differently not any more I definitely used to though. I used to look back and think about all the wild nights that i had and how much that actually stressed out my family. I thought about Carly and how I could have done things differently, but after putting everything down on paper I really wouldn't change a single thing. Ya I made some mistakes that have definitely closed alot of doors and made alot of thing harder but I still think that those events had to happen to help me see my true potential. Right now I know for a fact that I wont allow anything or anyone get in my way of what I want. I honestly think that's what is wrong with most of my friends they dont push themselves to their very limits they rather have somebody else do all the work for them and try to take the credit, then theres these one that don't really have any life aspirations beside working for their family or doing construction, and my female friend s who have the idea that they can just get married and become a stay at home wife. What a load of crock that is here my advise to all of you out there and you know who you are, so depending on others, and be your own person make your own way. Idk I got a serious reality check the other day I need to let go of the kid inside and become the power driven man I was meant to be. So right here right now im vowing that will be that man and all who doubt me will stand and marvel at my Greatness so you can either get out of my way now or be pushed out sooner rather then later. They say it lonely it the top but i want to be the judge of that. I Wont stop till I achieve my max potential. Stand back take in all that I am and MARVEL at the man before you.

Lion's Roar...

So today was one of those days that just starts off bad. Ahh were do I begin lets start with last night, so I went out with some friends had a great time then went home. So I get home and guess who happens to be at my house, Miss Denver (Carly) and Ariel. These two girls are by far my to closest peeps they know everything, every little secret about me. I knew Carly was gonna be in town but for some reason I thought it was gonna next week. She's here visiting here parents before they move back to Cape Cod. So it was nice to see them both well kind me and Ariel haven't really been on speaking terms since she screwed me over but thats the past so whatev. so since it still relatively early we hoped in the car and went to Denny's we stayed there for a long time we got caught up on all the stuff that we've missed and what not. It was really really really fun I must Admit, I say goodnight to my pals get home it still relatively early well for me atleast. I walk in the door get on the computer and start my usual activities of downloading music and movies and checking into all my email replying to all the emails I got. I finally black out about idk 5:30 am right. So about 8ish i get a phone call from my brother in arm Coi' hes also down here from frisco, he needs the spare key to his moms house cuz he locked himself out, no surprise there. So I throw on some cloths drive over there and give him the key. I go back home and try to get some rest only to be awaken by a text from another friend who coincidentally needs something. Then about a half an hour later I get a phone call from my uncle who needs me to go pick up my misbehaving little cousin. By this time Ive given up on sleeping, so for some reason I decide to go to Guitar shop and look for a New amp, Hey what do you know Another one of my loser friend txting me for something. I still went to the guitar store but my level of patience is running pretty low. I didn't find the amp I wanted but I did find the sweetest book it has all these sweet 70's songs. I go back home figure ill study for my class tonight so i get in my room pull out my course guide and full on shock and terror roll over my face. So I some how mixed up my weeks and thought that I was in week 4/10 in my class but in reality it was week 5/10. What does that all mean well week 5 is midterm week ya so with only about 4hour before my class I had to do a power session to make up for all the goofing of Ive been doing and what not. By this point of my day I'm a mess, I'm pissed off and one step from becoming a homicidal crazy person. Then oh the flood gates just open up my cell phone is blowing up, my house phone wont stop ringing and its all people looking for me. You could literally see the frustration level on my face. And some when in between tryn to cram for my midterm and doing all the other crap that I needed to do I just snapped. I didnt wanna deal with anyone I was telling my friends off yelling things that should never be said, blew up on a couple friends. They had it coming thought I'm tired of taking care of everyone some people just need to learn how to stand on there own to feet myself included. Any way my crap day ended with me getting a clutch "B" on my midT. So even though I didn't get to go and get my massage at dolce and have the relaxed day that I had planned it definitely could have been worst. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day my friends cant handle me when I'm ready to kill them all. Well that's it for now peace and love.

Its been a long time....

Well it seems that Ive been neglecting my blogging job so here's everything that has been going on in my life as of late. So I went to fall frenzy a couple weekends ago with my new pal Hobie. He's a pretty rad dude I must say but he is a bit a of playboy. As for the show it was uber wicked, Ive never had that much fun in my life. We had so much fun made a couple new friends it was all in all a good time. Oh so lets talk about school, ya what can I say I'm in deep trouble. So I'm in the honors Psych program and its killing me. Ive aways been the kind of person who was to smart for his own good, I never had to study never had to work hard everything came easy to me in school. Some how now I find myself lost not sure what going on I actually got a "D" on a quiz. OMG I almost kicked the bucket right there what am I supposed to do i never fail at anything. I feel like my plan is falling apart and there nothing I can do about it, but try and keep sain and work harder. I really thought about quiting but that just not me I don't quit, cuz that just what people want. I don't wanna work at some dead end job make no money or have to use my family to keep me afloat like so people I know. From a small child all Ive known is get an education, become a success. If I don't make this happen I wont just be letting my family down ill be letting myself down. I wont quit and I wont let anything stop me its my nindo. What else what else oh I turned 21 it was the best I go to spend my whole day with the people I love most.
And btw i would like to go on the record and say I'm not girl crazy even though it may seem as if I am. Yes I have a thing for a very special young lady but i also understand I'm not ready to settle down be domesticated. Its actually one of my fears, but one I will one day, and when that day comes ill go 100%. As for now I need to establish my legacy plus a wife isn't in my 5 year plan till year five so I still have four years. Back to my birthday it was amazing the only thing I wish that could have been different was the fact I didn't get to talk to my pal in Washington. So as for the future couple days I really got nothing going on but work and school. Well that it for now love and peace peeps.

Fall Frenzy is a go...

Heres the line up for all three days. Ill be there saturday and maybe sunday i just rebaught tickets.

Friday

Rob Thomas (1040pm-12am)

Jason Mraz (855-1015pm)
The B-52s (715-830pm )
Gavin Rossdale (6-655pm)
Colbie Caillat (5-545pm)
GATES OPEN AT 4PM

Saturday

Blink 182 (1030pm-12am)
Fall Out Boy (840-10pm )
Slightly Stoopid (655-810pm)
Pepper (510-625pm)
Anberlin (405-450pm)
Asher Roth (300-345pm)
Authority Zero (200-245pm)
GATES OPEN AT 1PM
Other acts to be added.

Sunday

Social Distortion (830-10pm)
Flogging Molly (630-8pm)
Ben Harper & Relentless (7430-6pm)
The Bravery (3-4pm)
Airborne Toxic Event (2-245pm)
Carolina Liar (1-145pm)
Slowpoke (12-1245pm)
GATES OPEN AT 11AM

Im Just Sayn...

So as many of you know I don't really have a problem speaking my mind, I could careless if people don't like me. I feel that if you want to be true to yourself you have to speak you mind and not hold things in. Ya as Ive gotten older Ive realized that you cant do that all the time some people around you cant handle the truth and you just have to let have there way so as to not cause mass over dramatics. Biting your tong sometimes is the only way to get out of bad situation but I'm just sayn. Really though this is pure honesty I wont talk behind any ones back if I have something to say or if you done something that bothers me I'm pretty quick to let you know, and that works for me. The only time that I wont say anything to a person is if I know the situation is just gonna get worst if I push it, but I still wont talk crap it takes to much effort and is a major waste of time I'm just sayn. Moving on, so this Australia thing is becoming more and more of an issue each day. So a couple months ago no one would have cared what I did if I left One like 2 people would have even noticed, now it seems like everyone and there mom thinks its a bad move. Everyone is try to scared me out of it and telling me that they need me, well that a load of bull if you ask me. Where were any of those people when I was having a mass melt down about my gramma or when Carly and me went south. OK ya some of you nay sayers out there make since Australia is far away and is a big jump, but no one understand how I feel. IN my family every thing is a competition for who is the best, and I'm loosing bad. When my dad was 21 He was graduating from Columbia, my aunt was Going to Wharton, my uncle was getting his cisco license. All of them had good jobs and had travel the world. It sucks that i have to compete with them all the time, I'm totally happy with how things are going for me I'm doing my thing at my own pace and I'm stoked about that. When they look at me though I'm a failure I'm no where near there level and they think that I'm not going any where to me Australia is an escape from all the pressure. Like ill be thousands of mile away and they wont have any input on my life once so ever. I just wanna be Winston Knighton, they have made it very clear I'm not White. I wish they could see that Ill be that guy, but I just have to do it my own way. Believe it!!! Ya so maybe I need to rethink this move idk lots of thing need to changes to keep me here though. Oh I do have some good news there maybe a potential queen for my castle ill post about her another time. Liven the dream "Be You, Be True, Be Legit" one love I'm out.