Talk it out...

Hello everyone Im back, I need an out let for everything going on in my life. Well I have a lot on my mind so lets get started. First lets start off will family stuff ya my dad in engaged, Im happy for him. The chick he's marring is legit we didn't start off on the right foot but she cool now. Their planning a December wedding Im the best man hahaha priceless. Yep then they're moving to New York that part sucks well not them moving i could care less about that its just that I just got my room the way I like it now I have to pack it all up and start again. As for My other half of the family well lets just say were not speaking much these days, Im tired of being used by them so I 86 them out. Ahh as for work a lot has changed since the last time I posted, I no longer work at Marketside that job was a joke. Ya I got paid alot to do what i did but the management at that place was out of control. I took a Job at this really cool P.R. firm. Im a Junior Coordinator basically I book high priced after parties and regular parties and help plan them with my team. I really love this job, and Im really good at it too. Ive already book 6 events Im actually sitting in the LAX airport right now we had a team meeting at the new office in LA. Now Im on way home, my boss is leaving for this new office cause he lives here in Cali and travel every week for work. He wants me to come but I don't have the funds to live out here just yet, not even with my trust fund. Oh school is going great Ill be done pretty soon and then its grad school time. I got four acceptance letters ASU, San jose state, NYU, and Cal. I have till june 1st the choose my school, Im not sure thought where I want to go. Going to ASU would be the easy thing to do but Im not sure if its the best thing for me. Ive never been the kind of guy to settle and if I stay if feel like I would be. I have my reasons to go my first choice would be Cal and then I could transfer to Stanford when I go for my Ph.D. , but at the same time I dont want to leave behind everything I have going on here. And just so we are all clear a girl is not on my reasons to stay. There was a girl who could have gotten me to say but after a lot of thought and talking to my peeps I need to just let her go and move on. It will be hard but it'll be for the best. Its time I accept my destiny Ive never been a normal man, and I need to stand up and take my place at the top of the mountain. Oh and I started a new band this one is all my own Its called Winston and Epics I think were gonna change the name to "THE EPICS". We are a band a family and we share everything so everything should be equal. this week should be pretty busy Carly is in town for a little bit and I have a Date on friday night with a girl from my Chem class. So thats all I have for now but be ready for more updates soon.

Fin...

So for my final blog though I'd share one of the pieces that I wrote.

This isn't the end its just good by for now.

One day maybe ill find my way back, till then I just float on.

Wait For Me.

Look out to the horizon

A whole world lies beyond

The path of life shall guide me

And will swiftly move me on,

There's new things to discover

And many sights to see

But I hope you'll be waiting

Patiently waiting for me.

The road stretches before me

And I don't know how far,

And whatever may happen

Just remember who you are

If other try to change you,

Hold tight to who you wanna be

Ill return one day

I just hope you'll be there waiting for me.

Once Ive reached my limit

And I cant go on any more

I'll always have the memories

Of the good times we've had before

So when my journey ends

And I'm ready to break free

I hope that you'll be waiting there

Waiting there patiently for me.

12/31/09...

Attention to all my readers Decemember 31 will be the last time I will be blogging. My Wordpress, Myspace, And Facebook are comming down as well. I believe that we are all to locked into theses websites that we are forgetting how to actually connect with people in real life.
Thanks to all of you out there who read my blog, and made me keep writing. I may post one more blog but its not likly. Keep living the dream, I know I will.

Pillar...

Man this last week has been a total roller coaster. I'm trying to get ready for finals, all my friends who went away for school are back in town and everybody wants to kick it. My all time Nemesis did the unthinkable which in someways made me very angry. Oh so check this out back in the day we used to have foster kids and they were like family not even like we were a family. We had two girls Heather, and Shyann and my two bro Ronny, and Tony. So my brother my best friend the person I trust with my life Rko (Ronny) calls and tells me he ask his girlfriend to marry him. God I wanted to shoot him in the face, like why would any one want to get married now a days especially since more than half end in divorce. But as mad as I was at him, I was still super happy. Me and Ronny used to talk about having normal lives with normal families. We wanted to be the guys or father never were for us ya know. Neither one of us actually had any idea what or so called normal was. I'm glad though that he will have a special young lady in his life, and at least one of us can try and find that normalcy we both desire. Oh ya and I'm the best man at the wedding, and his fiance's friends are super hot. "BONUS"!!! OK so all the peeps are back in town it really was amazing to see everybody. Ive got like 600 pics from this week ill post some once I finished editing them. The old flame Carly was here, my boy Coi', Dasha, Ryan, Justin, the twins Staci, and Summer. It was the best all the original team back together. We drove up to Prescott, paid our respects to one of fallen members parents who also let us crash which was sick. For all of you who don't know one of our friends was killed by a drunk driver last year. He was driving home from a family members house and was hit by some drunken D-bag. He was a good kid and didn't deserve what happened to him. But that life ya know things just happen for no good reason. His mom was super stoked to see us all though idk it took my mind of everything that's going on in my own life. So back to my Nemesis, so as far as I can think back me and him having been going at it. Him wanting me to fall me wanting to see him crash and burn. Finally after years I guess the feud is over, he fell to the waist side. I cant say that I'm actually happy about it though. At first I was so happy about it I know that's pretty messed up but if you knew the hatred that brewed between us you'd understand. But now it just makes me sad, I mean all the times he called me out tryn to say I was the bad one and now hes gone. I wonder if he knew how many people looked up to him and loved him. He had everything in the palm of his hand. Id give anything to have people care about me like that and make me sad and angry to see him throw that all away. OK moving on so you know me Mr. always looking for change I think I want to put Australia back on the table, and the peace core, and last but not least going away to school. If I go away to school it would just be for a years considering that I only have one whole school year left. Idk Ive always been searching for that missing part of my life and I thought I finally found it, but now I'm not so sure. My littlest cousin is almost old enough for school, which mean that my bio-family will be packing up and going back east because my family is built on tradition and legacy. So she will have to misfortune of going to Eden Hall prep academy trust me when I say its a breeding ground for the snobs of America. I had to go there for a while before I couldn't take it any more. More so we moved to this god forsaken place lol. So Ive got a lot to think about, I don't wanna make a decision to fast. well that's it for now love and peace.

Blah...

Hello out there it definitely has been a while since my last blog update, sorry Ive been pretty busy. I think the last time I blogged I was just finishing midterms, any ways lets see idk not much has really gone on. Well there a few things, My full on emotional break down, me almost getting fired, and the whole Bri situation. Lets start with the first one shall we most of you think of me as a happy gregarious kind of guy. Ya OK me at all honestly I hate being around a lot of people, I'm always analyzing every situation, plus im slightly nuratic when im not 100% in control. In the psycology world there are two types of personalities, type A or type B. Type A people tend to display their emotions very easyly and often. They can be very agressive and seem careless. Type B people are mellow slow to anger, they try and rationalize bad situation to make them ok. they dont say whats on their minds, they also hold alot of things in. Type B people though have a minor glitch, there exploders. That mean you can push them and push them to their breaking point, but then they explode all their sadness and anger just come flying out. My psych teacher is doing evaluations on us right now, and Im a very reseerved person I have some dark secrets and things that to keep private. Well just say he pushed me to my limits and focus in alot of things that I need to deal with. Idk for some reason thought it unraveled my entire world, and that was not good. I pretty much went off the deep end, which led me to all most getting fired from my job. Ya so im already a toothpick away from loosing all control and my boss just happened to push to far. So I told him what I thought about him and my job. Ya bad move he sent me home and made me write a letter about how I wanted to keep my job. At first I didnt want to do it but I finally came to my senses and wrote it. He didnt fire me thank god believe it or not i knida like my job. During this whole situaton though there was one glimmer of light my very good friend Bri. If you know me well you know I dont tell alot of people how I feel. I keep my stuff to me my burdon to bare, but me and bri have been there for each other though some crazy times and I let her in to my little world. We were good together for about a minute cuz then I got a strong reality check by two people I love and will always love.
Oh and one other thing my mama, (she's not really my mom but i wish she was) called me a player, it made me laugh. but seriously though im so far from being a player is crazy, and yes I do crush alot but im no player. I like alot of girls but love only one. When I meet that girl she will know that she is the center of my universe, the queen of my castle, my best friend without question. Sorry P one day I may have to replace you. Love all ya peace.

Marvel...

When you look back on the last five years of your life was it everything you wanted it to be?Did you accomplish your goals, are you the person that you thought you would be? Do look back and have some regrets or are you totally satisfied with everything that took place? If I were to answer those questions it would be very mixed. When it comes to my goals I think that I did everything that I was gonna do. I graduated from High School a Year early, Im in college, and Im well on my way to being a psycologist. Do I look back and think that i should have done things differently not any more I definitely used to though. I used to look back and think about all the wild nights that i had and how much that actually stressed out my family. I thought about Carly and how I could have done things differently, but after putting everything down on paper I really wouldn't change a single thing. Ya I made some mistakes that have definitely closed alot of doors and made alot of thing harder but I still think that those events had to happen to help me see my true potential. Right now I know for a fact that I wont allow anything or anyone get in my way of what I want. I honestly think that's what is wrong with most of my friends they dont push themselves to their very limits they rather have somebody else do all the work for them and try to take the credit, then theres these one that don't really have any life aspirations beside working for their family or doing construction, and my female friend s who have the idea that they can just get married and become a stay at home wife. What a load of crock that is here my advise to all of you out there and you know who you are, so depending on others, and be your own person make your own way. Idk I got a serious reality check the other day I need to let go of the kid inside and become the power driven man I was meant to be. So right here right now im vowing that will be that man and all who doubt me will stand and marvel at my Greatness so you can either get out of my way now or be pushed out sooner rather then later. They say it lonely it the top but i want to be the judge of that. I Wont stop till I achieve my max potential. Stand back take in all that I am and MARVEL at the man before you.

Lion's Roar...

So today was one of those days that just starts off bad. Ahh were do I begin lets start with last night, so I went out with some friends had a great time then went home. So I get home and guess who happens to be at my house, Miss Denver (Carly) and Ariel. These two girls are by far my to closest peeps they know everything, every little secret about me. I knew Carly was gonna be in town but for some reason I thought it was gonna next week. She's here visiting here parents before they move back to Cape Cod. So it was nice to see them both well kind me and Ariel haven't really been on speaking terms since she screwed me over but thats the past so whatev. so since it still relatively early we hoped in the car and went to Denny's we stayed there for a long time we got caught up on all the stuff that we've missed and what not. It was really really really fun I must Admit, I say goodnight to my pals get home it still relatively early well for me atleast. I walk in the door get on the computer and start my usual activities of downloading music and movies and checking into all my email replying to all the emails I got. I finally black out about idk 5:30 am right. So about 8ish i get a phone call from my brother in arm Coi' hes also down here from frisco, he needs the spare key to his moms house cuz he locked himself out, no surprise there. So I throw on some cloths drive over there and give him the key. I go back home and try to get some rest only to be awaken by a text from another friend who coincidentally needs something. Then about a half an hour later I get a phone call from my uncle who needs me to go pick up my misbehaving little cousin. By this time Ive given up on sleeping, so for some reason I decide to go to Guitar shop and look for a New amp, Hey what do you know Another one of my loser friend txting me for something. I still went to the guitar store but my level of patience is running pretty low. I didn't find the amp I wanted but I did find the sweetest book it has all these sweet 70's songs. I go back home figure ill study for my class tonight so i get in my room pull out my course guide and full on shock and terror roll over my face. So I some how mixed up my weeks and thought that I was in week 4/10 in my class but in reality it was week 5/10. What does that all mean well week 5 is midterm week ya so with only about 4hour before my class I had to do a power session to make up for all the goofing of Ive been doing and what not. By this point of my day I'm a mess, I'm pissed off and one step from becoming a homicidal crazy person. Then oh the flood gates just open up my cell phone is blowing up, my house phone wont stop ringing and its all people looking for me. You could literally see the frustration level on my face. And some when in between tryn to cram for my midterm and doing all the other crap that I needed to do I just snapped. I didnt wanna deal with anyone I was telling my friends off yelling things that should never be said, blew up on a couple friends. They had it coming thought I'm tired of taking care of everyone some people just need to learn how to stand on there own to feet myself included. Any way my crap day ended with me getting a clutch "B" on my midT. So even though I didn't get to go and get my massage at dolce and have the relaxed day that I had planned it definitely could have been worst. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day my friends cant handle me when I'm ready to kill them all. Well that's it for now peace and love.